Tabitha | 17 | Suffolk, England | Interactive Media Student


It was November a couple of years ago and I had just started dating my first girlfriend. It was a week before I turned 16. My girlfriend and I were dating in secret for a few days. My parents didn't know but her friends and Grandparents did and they were all fine with it. It was a regular thing for them to be hanging out with people that were curious about their sexuality or were homosexual. My parents didn't know. They just knew that I was going to see her a lot but they just thought we were friends. Some of my friends knew I was dating her and they were totally cool with it because they knew I had had a curiosity about women since middle school.

After one fateful weekend after a vigorous make out session I came home with love bites all over my neck. I managed to cover it up by wearing turtle necks and scarves because of the cold autumn month. I managed to hide it for a week until on a Friday when I was going on an art trip, I forgot to wear my scarf because I didn't think it was that noticeable any more. I was wrong. As soon as I stepped out the car and headed for the bus, my mum rolled down the window and called me over.


"What are those disgusting things on your neck?" She asked with a concerned expression. At this point I figured there was no point covering up, I had to tell her sooner or later. I told her they were love bites. She asked from who and with an awkward smile I told her it was my girlfriend."
Her jaw dropped like a ton of bricks as she stared at me in disbelief. I tried to smile again with a slight shrug and pointed out I had to catch the bus. She let me go. Once I got home she called me into her bedroom and asked me how long it had been going on, I told her we were courting for a bit and started dating a week or two ago. She seemed to avoid looking at me at first. The conversation was pretty awkward. She asked why I didn't tell her sooner and I said I was nervous. She assured me it wasn't a big deal, just a surprise. She then looked at me and said, 'The same rules apply' referring to boyfriend talk I received a few years before. She hugged me, told me she loved me and went out to work.

I went into the living room and sat down to do some figure painting and my step father told me about what happened after she had saw the love bites. After I had left she called him all in a fluster not knowing what to think or what to do. He didn't mind either just as long as I didn't rub it in any ones face. I got lucky with having such open minded parents and friends. As time progressed I became more open about my sexuality and my parents poke light heart fun, which is their way of showing acceptance. When I started dating my current girlfriend I told my mum so plainly what was going on. I was sat at my computer desk talking to my girlfriend and Skype about coming out. She didn't know how to tell her mum so I told her my story. Mum came in to get something and I just looked over my shoulder and said, 'Mum, I've got a girlfriend.' All my mum said was, 'Another one?', and then continued to say, 'Well at least you won't get pregnant.'

The feeling of being out of the closet and being accepted by your loved ones is so liberating. Being able to be myself openly around my parents and not having to worry about them being ashamed creates a feeling of sanctuary. Knowing I can be me and knowing that my sexuality doesn't define me or restrict me from activities with all my friends and family is amazing.

It took a lot of time for me to reach this point though. I suppose I always knew I was a little different from all my friends because I couldn't see boys the way they did. As I became more aware of my attraction to women I tried to shun it, push it away and run. I became grossly homophobic and dated several guys to try and convince myself I was straight. Eventually I accepted the fact that I wasn't straight and started to explore my attraction. With my first girlfriend, I realised I was happier with girls then I was boys and It developed from there, slowly making my way through bisexuality until finally admitting to myself recently there was no going back. This is what I am. I am a lesbian and I am proud. But it's not who I am. It's just a small part of a big personality.

And as for coming out yourself,
Just be honest with yourself and your parents; They'll find out sooner or later.

But I suggest talking to your friends about it first so you know there is acceptance somewhere to fall back on in case there is a problem.
Just think positive!
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