Liam | 28 | Cardiff, Wales | Recruiter
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I’m not entirely sure how to go about this as my coming out was far from a Disney story, nevertheless, in my eyes, it was a success. I came out twice (as if once isn’t hard enough!) to my friends, then a whole four years later, my parents. With my friends it was a much more comfortable transition, I decided one day that I wouldn’t directly tell anyone, I would just stop pretending to fancy Cat Deeley and not look away or hurriedly change the subject if anything remotely same-sex related come into a conversation. I was 18 and feeling incredibly vulnerable. It is impossible to predict how even your closest chums will react to something such as a ‘gay in the group’, especially in the beautiful but socially-prehistoric Welsh valleys. I took the risk – and I was almost disappointed by the lack of drama! "The only change I noticed is that from then on we laughed harder, grew closer and suddenly I felt very adult." |
Fast forward to 2008 and it’s the month I’m due to move in with my boyfriend. My parents are still waiting for me to bring home “that pretty blonde girl who keeps horses” who I was in Uni with. Oops.
This was impossible. My brother had already come out a number of years before and it hadn’t gone at all well. I was the last chance for grandkids, a big white wedding and extended family holidays to the Costa Brava. I was reminded regularly that this was now my obligation to the family. For me, the one thing that I struggled with the most was the lying. I love my parents and wanted to share with them the amazing time I was having with my first love, yet every day trip or night out with him became, “I’ve been called into work” or “Anna needs a lift to town, back late”. I got myself in a right muddle.
This was impossible. My brother had already come out a number of years before and it hadn’t gone at all well. I was the last chance for grandkids, a big white wedding and extended family holidays to the Costa Brava. I was reminded regularly that this was now my obligation to the family. For me, the one thing that I struggled with the most was the lying. I love my parents and wanted to share with them the amazing time I was having with my first love, yet every day trip or night out with him became, “I’ve been called into work” or “Anna needs a lift to town, back late”. I got myself in a right muddle.
"Telling lies, making up friends and hiding my phone just in case the love of my life dared call or text. I cracked."
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The week before I was due to move in with my boyfriend, my dad found me hunched over a roll of bubble wrap in tears, he sent my mother in to speak with me (teary children were always mums thing). I tried to tell her but I couldn’t even say the words. So she did. I just had to nod. It was done. We cried enough tears to hydrate a small army but it was done. The next couple of years were tough, and there is still a little way to go, but as I sat around the dinner table this Christmas just gone, watching my mum and dad raising a glass of champagne with my brother's boyfriend, I realised we had suddenly become your average boring, sentimental, loving family. My parents still feel the need to ask obscure and often inappropriate questions about homosexuality - “No dad, I don’t mind that men have hairy legs and often smell of beer”, but one thing I know is that they’ve got my back and truly love me despite my “very modern lifestyle choice”! Follow Liam on Twitter - @Liam_J_Harris |
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