Hayley | 29 (+3) | Bedford, England | Homeless Worker
A sibling like no other - A Sister's storyI remember the moment I found out, for sure, that my brother was gay. I was 12 years old and he was doing his usual big family meal and invited us all over. There was lots of laughter and fun as always and I didn't want the day to end. He lived with his 'friend' who he had been living with for years in his two bedroom house. I asked if I could stay over and he said I could so I went upstairs to bed. I looked around. His bedroom was filled with all those bits you eventually get around to sorting out; his record collection on the bed for instance. I remember thinking, ‘He doesn’t sleep in this room. He sleeps in the other room with John.’
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I didn't say anything; I didn't feel I needed to. I knew that my brother and John were partners and nothing changed. Five years later my brother asked me if I wanted to go clubbing and being 17 I jumped at the chance! He said, "You don't mind what sort of club we go to do you Hayley?" I said, "Kev, I know we are going to a gay club so cut the crap."
I remember his face to this day. It lit up and he smiled, gobsmacked that I knew. God knows why – but he was happy; very very happy. He asked if everyone in the family knew and I said that they knew before he even did! And we love him. He never had to make any statement or Come Out to his family. Whilst this part of his gay life was easy, I know he still has struggled. He was bullied at school, not because he was a raging homosexual trying to come on to every boy in his class, but simply because he preferred the arts to football and his best friends were girls. I suppose those utter pigs clocked on to this and used his sexuality as something to pick on.
I remember his face to this day. It lit up and he smiled, gobsmacked that I knew. God knows why – but he was happy; very very happy. He asked if everyone in the family knew and I said that they knew before he even did! And we love him. He never had to make any statement or Come Out to his family. Whilst this part of his gay life was easy, I know he still has struggled. He was bullied at school, not because he was a raging homosexual trying to come on to every boy in his class, but simply because he preferred the arts to football and his best friends were girls. I suppose those utter pigs clocked on to this and used his sexuality as something to pick on.
"I absolutely do not tolerate homophobia in any shape, size or form.
Even though my brother is older than me I would protect him to my
last breath from anyone or anything."
He is my best friend and if I ever need any advice he will be the first person I’d turn to. We have always clicked and we have so much in common, the main thing being of course, our love for the male species! As his husband would say, we are two peas in a pod. No one adores him as much as I do.
His relationship with John ended. I'm kind of glad it did as he went on to meet Steve and I adore Steve. Up until a few years ago my brother used to cringe every time I introduced him to my friends/associates and then introduced Steve as his partner. Not any more though, which I believe is down to Steve. So they married, I was bridesmaid (or the old maid as my brother would say) and my dad was his witness. It was perfect - camp and beautiful. I cried the whole way through as the ceremony represented the journey my brother had been on and how comfortable he had become in his own skin.
"The room was filled with so much love. I will cherish that moment forever."
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