Glenda | 37 | Newcastle, England
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Glenda is a close friend of Pete whose story appears on March's pageAt age ten I can’t say for sure I knew what being gay was but that was the time it became obvious to me that Pete wasn’t ‘one of the lads’. It didn’t matter; he was my friend regardless and to be honest the story could start and end there. Pete’s sexuality was only of interest to me in so much as it very obviously troubled him a great deal and it’s difficult to watch a friend go through that for as long as he did. What I think of him as a person is entirely separate to that.
Pete and I have known each other since we were four. We went to school together, we played in the street together, we did a part-time job after school together, we rebelled in 6th form together, we wrote to each other at university, he is friends with my Mum and my sister and we both kissed goodbye to our 20’s in epic style; me shortly after leaving my husband, him shortly after getting engaged to his girlfriend. What he doesn’t know about me ... actually, I think he knows everything and probably more. He’s got a better memory than me. Damn it! "I knew Pete was gay all along.
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It seemed so simple to me. I used to think, “Just come out and be happy!” It was so frustrating sometimes but I never pressed the issue with him. I figured he was doing that enough for both of us. I hoped he’d get there eventually, in his own time, when he was ready. So, after waiting so long, hoping so hard and zipping it so often when Pete finally came out it was... a bit of an anti-climax if I’m honest. He came round, sat down, went all serious and said he had something to tell me. I was a bit worried as I thought there was actually something wrong. “I’ve met a man”, he said. “Great!” I said, “Who is he?” I don’t think that was the response he’d planned for in his mind. I think he was expecting me to be shocked. I was surprised to find he thought he’d done such a good job of acting straight all these years.
So what of those years full of anguish and unhappiness? Does he regret not coming out sooner? Would he be a different person now? None of that matters to me. All of us watch our friends go through difficult spells. It doesn’t diminish the value of the friendship; on the contrary in fact. Friendships that endure genuine difficulties tend to be with you for life. Aren’t they the ones most worth having?
So what of those years full of anguish and unhappiness? Does he regret not coming out sooner? Would he be a different person now? None of that matters to me. All of us watch our friends go through difficult spells. It doesn’t diminish the value of the friendship; on the contrary in fact. Friendships that endure genuine difficulties tend to be with you for life. Aren’t they the ones most worth having?
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