Emma | 24 | Tamworth, England


I realised I was a lesbian in High School and I must have been about 14. I noticed the feelings I had for girls were completely different to my feelings for boys; more so, when I really fancied this girl in my year! However, I didn’t actually come out until I was 19 because like most other people I was petrified! I went to a school that had a reputation for being rough and although I was never actually bullied, my friend was. She glanced around the changing rooms after P.E and one of the ring leaders in school caught her. My friend was forever bullied and called names like lemon, dyke etc. On the way home the bullies would spit at her, hurl abuse and throw things at her. The thought of it happening to me too scared me to death. I tried to stay unnoticed around school just in case somebody found out.

After High School I started hanging out with a different crowd and one friend kept trying to set me up with lads. I tried telling myself, "you’re straight, you’re straight". Every time I was with a lad the simple thought of kissing him made me uncomfortable. I started ‘going into’ chat rooms online and talking to girls which made me realise even more that I was a lesbian. I remained scared though as my new best friend was friends with the crowd that bullied my other friend in High School. I honestly thought that she would kill me if she found out my secret!

"One night me and my best friend were getting 
ready to go out and she mentioned that somebody we went to school with was a lesbian."


She made a little laugh and joke about it saying that it was obvious because she always played football. Maybe it was the drink I had while getting ready but something made me think about myself and I literally came out with the question, "what if I was gay?" My friend turned her head and stopped doing her make up and shot me a look I will never forget. 

Straight away I though, "this is it, this is where the abuse begins!" It was like watching a car crash, where everything is in slow motion and you want to do something but you can’t! The next words I heard were from her which were, "you serious?" I was still stunned; shocked that I even thought about saying it let alone actually saying it. I said, "Yeah, I’ve known for ages but never told anybody." My friend then said, "Do you think I’m fit?" I replied, "yeah, you’re pretty hot.” My mate laughed and said, "Great, now I can pull boys and lesbians!"  We laughed about it and the same night, the same friend got completely drunk and kissed me. That moment was the moment I was 100% sure that I was gay!
I didn’t so much tell my family I was gay. I hated having long hair and had it chopped off and donated to Cancer Research. At my nephews first birthday party me and my four brothers were sat in the kitchen having a drink and one of them made a joke about me being gay. Another one of my brothers turned to me and said, "Do you fancy women? Are you gay?" I made a quick decision and said, "Yeah, got a problem?" 

Before I knew it the whole family knew. I expected loads of questions to be fired at me but nobody seemed bothered. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Since they found out I am gay, my family have been very supportive of me and never treated me any different.

When I hit 20 things had become a lot easier. I didn’t speak to a lot of people from school, I was in college, I was a different person and most importantly I wasn’t scared anymore. Since my nephew’s party when I told my brothers about my sexuality I have never been happier. 

Although it was scary at the time, it is the best thing I ever did! 

I never knew about any websites that could help me deal with this but I am glad I could trust my best friend. Since coming out I haven’t experienced any homophobia, I’m a lot happier with myself and I no longer worry what people think of me. I’m now working to become a counselor in the hope that I can help people like me so that they don’t have to hide like I did.

"Be strong, be proud and don’t be afraid!"

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