Daniel | 20 | Manchester, England | Administrator
I can definitely relate to the old cliché of "I always knew I was gay". When I was 10 and my male friends were starting to take an interest in girls I just didn’t understand why! My realisation that I was gay was extremely quick and pain-fee, which I will always be thankful for. I was 13 when I admitted it to myself. I fancied the pants of some boy I used to sit next to in Maths. I've since told him this and it has definitely boosted his confidence to say the least. And he has got better with age!
I started to plan my coming as a very ‘matter of fact’ thing. The first person I came out to was someone I thought I had feelings for; he didn't reciprocate them but kept my sexuality a secret. He is gay now and we have remained good friends. At the time I was at a very low point, I didn't have any proper friends and had an unusual relationship with my parents; it was neither here nor there. At this point, I decided to come out to my brother just so I could talk to someone. He was so supportive and really helped me. This was at a time when I was feeling the worst I've ever felt. He has actually revealed to me in recent months that he always knew I was gay; he was just waiting for me to be comfortable enough to come out.
It was a while before I summoned the courage to tell anyone else, even though it was extremely obvious. I had just started Amateur Dramatics, my favourite music was pop and I was starting to enjoy musicals. I am quite a stereotypically gay man, but I don't think I'm overly flamboyant.
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I know I had a really good group of friends, some from school and some people I met at Amateur Dramatics. My best friend at the time, Sophie, always knew I was gay. She had a lesbian mum who had also guessed within 15 seconds of meeting me. "I ended up coming out to Sophie in
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My mum asked me if I was sure and then just got on with making tea, as if I'd just told her I didn't like beans or something. She did want to tell my dad though; she didn't feel she could keep this from him. I was instantly terrified as my dad had always been someone who was not necessarily homophobic, but used the term in a derogatory sense towards people he didn't like. However again, I needn't have worried, he simply said, “Please be prepared, there is a lot of prejudice in this world which isn't fair, and you may end up on the receiving end." It was a lovely thing to say to me and I'll never forget it.
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We have a strange relationship, we get on but we're not amazingly close. As a family unit, the four of us always come together in a crisis. I have a wonderful relationship with my mum, we often go to the theatre and to concerts and go for meals and lunches as well as staying up until 4 a.m. chatting. I have a wonderful brother who has given me enormous support over the years and has listened when I couldn't talk to my parents. I love my family an awful lot and everyday I am so grateful I have this fantastic openly gay life. Although I do class myself as an openly gay man, not all of my family know. I guess for me I see it as a need-to-know basis. I am Daniel who happens to be gay, not gay Daniel. When I eventually come to a point where I'm ready to introduce my man to them I will let them realise this small fact themselves. I owe a lot to the people who have campaigned and been through hell because of prejudices; those who have fought the law and fought for the rights of every gay man and woman in Britain and the rest of the world. Without them, we would be terrified to admit who we really are for fear of all sorts. I know a lot of areas of the world are still like this (I recently cancelled a holiday to Jamaica) but we are getting there. |
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Me with my idol Beverley Knight!
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If anyone is struggling with their sexuality and is reading this, if you feel you have no one to talk to, please find someone! Stonewall is excellent for gay youths and providing people just to talk to.
"Please remember you're not alone
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