Andrew | 21 | Northampton, England | Hospitality
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"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail!"Ok so this could be the worst story as I don't really know what to say but here it goes!
I always knew I was 'different' I just didn't know what different was. I struggled through school constantly being bullied for this thing I didn't truly understand. Whilst at secondary school I faced my biggest challenge in life which was dealing with my Mum being diagnosed with cancer. This made me realise that life is short and I had to discover what this 'different' was. I buckled down to try get good grades ignoring the taunts with the ambition of getting away from school and getting happy again which was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. I failed miserably with all my exams so had limited choices of what to do in life. I chose college which ended up being the choice that changed my life. While at college I still faced the taunts but I had support to cope with this as I met the most amazing man ever there, my best friend Sam. |
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Sam was straight and had a girlfriend but he didn't judge me. After a year or so Sam came out as gay and it made me realise that we were the same and that is what made me different. Over the next couple of years we remained such good friends going to Gay bars together and just having fun. We made such a good network of mutual friends and it was great to finally have a real friend. Despite all of Sam's support I still wasn't ready to admit I knew I was gay. I got a part time job whilst at college at a hotel near where I lived. After college I started there full time and me and Sam drifted apart. We never stopped being friends, just not as close as when we were both at college. I felt all alone again.
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My biggest support with finally coming out came from two sources. I would not be as strong as I am now without the love and support from my best friend Sophie and my boss Bec. They were both amazing and I thank them for that. Shortly after I left college I found out my Granddad had been diagnosed with cancer and my Mum moved in with him to be his carer as there was no chance he was going to get better. I started to think that everyone I loved was getting ill because of me and I sunk into depression. I was home alone for two months and was in and out of hospital with overdoses, just painkillers really and I guess it was just a cry for help but as I was 18 the hospital didn't have to inform my mum so I was all alone.
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My doctor put me on anti depressants; I was at an all time low. Then the news came that my Granddad had passed away. After his funeral my mum came home and I had to tell her how I felt but I felt I couldn't. I decided to lock my secret away.
"After a year or so
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First I decided to tell people at work so on a work night out I took them to my local gay bar and that is when I told them. They were so supportive but of course they already knew :) Next, my mum. I can't recall how it came about all I remember is my mum crying telling me it’s a phase. We didn't speak about it for a long time. I led a happy gay life at work and with friends and pretended to be the son that my mum wanted at home.
Then on a night out I met Wayne and we stayed in touch. When I heard of his project and read the stories it gave me the confidence to talk to my mum. I sent her a text as I thought it would be easier. She replied saying she loved me no matter what. |
I think she always knew just didn’t want to believe it. I truly believe that without the support of my friends I wouldn't have been able to come out but now I have I feel so much happier. Me and my mum now have a strong relationship and she says she looks forward to the day I bring a nice man home!
Follow Andrew on Twitter - @drewbornthisway
Follow Andrew on Twitter - @drewbornthisway
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