Adam | 17 | Cambridge, England | A Level Student
This is the first time that I have ever told my coming out story in full. I am 17 now, but when I first started the rollercoaster of coming out I was in Year 9 (aged just 14). I had known for a while that I wasn’t like everybody else in my college and I didn’t know any gay people so I had no one I could speak to.
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On a secondary school residential trip I was sharing a room with one of my best mates (in a 2 bed bedroom) at a hostel in Paris. This was the first time I was to finally able to tell someone, “I am bi-sexual”. We spent that night speaking to each other and we mutually came out to each other as bi-sexual. Still, I wasn’t really sure what I was. "All I knew then was that I wasn’t straight, Months went on and I started telling my closest friends and my teen crushes from my school. Most took it OK, and I assume some of them knew I was different but just didn’t know how different.
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When I thought it might all be done with, my best mate’s ex-girlfriend surfaced like the fear you have in your stomach when you are at the top of that roller-coaster. He had ended his relationship with her, and he had also told her about me, so her assumptions sent her head spinning with questions. “What had happened in Paris? Was he now going to go out with Adam?”
Because I was so secretive when I told people and asked people not to tell other people she decided to start the rumour! I thought my life was going to end before I got to the bottom of the ride. So I decided to deny the rumour would be better than coming to terms with it. So I lived that lie for a while.
I had seen Joe McElderry come out in July 2010 and I had seen him on the X-Factor and I loved his voice! I thought to myself that if someone like that can do it – why can’t I? I started to be more honest and specific about my sexuality at the beginning of year 10 (when I was 15). I started to say, “actually I am gay - fully gay.” I continued to watch Joe on Popstar to Operastar. Joe McElderry still remains to this day my saviour and without his presence on screen I would not be where I am today.
However it wasn’t as easy as I had hoped. Issues started arising at school and at Air Cadets. Some people at school didn’t understand. I admit that I made mistakes told the wrong people and said too much sometimes, but I learned and changed. Because of the issues at school my mum and dad wanted to know what was going on. We sat around the dining room table and I came out. AWKWARDNESS! My mum and dad said they would both love me what ever, but I am sure my Dad thought it was a phase. I mean, ‘a phase’ - where do these ideas come from?!?!
Because I was so secretive when I told people and asked people not to tell other people she decided to start the rumour! I thought my life was going to end before I got to the bottom of the ride. So I decided to deny the rumour would be better than coming to terms with it. So I lived that lie for a while.
I had seen Joe McElderry come out in July 2010 and I had seen him on the X-Factor and I loved his voice! I thought to myself that if someone like that can do it – why can’t I? I started to be more honest and specific about my sexuality at the beginning of year 10 (when I was 15). I started to say, “actually I am gay - fully gay.” I continued to watch Joe on Popstar to Operastar. Joe McElderry still remains to this day my saviour and without his presence on screen I would not be where I am today.
However it wasn’t as easy as I had hoped. Issues started arising at school and at Air Cadets. Some people at school didn’t understand. I admit that I made mistakes told the wrong people and said too much sometimes, but I learned and changed. Because of the issues at school my mum and dad wanted to know what was going on. We sat around the dining room table and I came out. AWKWARDNESS! My mum and dad said they would both love me what ever, but I am sure my Dad thought it was a phase. I mean, ‘a phase’ - where do these ideas come from?!?!
"My parents now know so it got easier but it still to this day seems to be somewhat of a taboo topic. I can’t wait until I get my first true boyfriend and prove to my parents that I am what I say I am and see what they will say." Cadets was hard. It was awkward when having to sharing sleeping accommodation together. Before I came out in Cadets I thought I should check it with a few of the other lads which turned out to be a big mistake. I got suspended for asking them what they thought. It just seemed to make me stronger. By this point I was pretty much full out although I’ve never come out to my grandparents or uncle and auntie, but I just assume they know. In
the Cadet corps I didn’t feel 100% accepted. I had made enemies because of the
way I was with both Cadets and certain members of staff.
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Accusations were made against me which weren’t true but it was just the way they were and it was still a taboo subject within the corps. I wasn’t even anticipating coming out at the camp but things went on and I was no longer allowed to sleep with cadets so there wasn’t much point being there so I left.
Since then I have only moved on up! I have had great dealings with the BeatBullying group which include CyberMentors; I have been part of this scheme since February 2012 which helps under 18s who are being cyber bullied. I changed schools to a sixth form college so my life is getting better by the day.
I also started to watch Hollyoaks as my soap rather than Coronation Street and to this day I can still say that Kieron Richardson provides me the day to day support without even knowing it. He also, same as Joe, came out to the public. They are both great at what they do, they should never stop believing in themselves – They bring a smile to so many people’s faces and sometimes they even bring a tear to my eye (because I am an emotional man!).
Since then I have only moved on up! I have had great dealings with the BeatBullying group which include CyberMentors; I have been part of this scheme since February 2012 which helps under 18s who are being cyber bullied. I changed schools to a sixth form college so my life is getting better by the day.
I also started to watch Hollyoaks as my soap rather than Coronation Street and to this day I can still say that Kieron Richardson provides me the day to day support without even knowing it. He also, same as Joe, came out to the public. They are both great at what they do, they should never stop believing in themselves – They bring a smile to so many people’s faces and sometimes they even bring a tear to my eye (because I am an emotional man!).
"My advice to anyone thinking of coming out is to feel the fear and do it anyway.
I know it’s hard but you’ll feel good when it is all done with! I promise you."
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