Bill Thornycroft | 86 | London, England
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RUComingOut met Bill at World Pride London 2012 when he posed for photographs for our feature on the event. See the full gallery here. Bill contacted us by email a few weeks ago with his amazing story and we are honoured to include it here in our December section. Bill's story is unique because it gives us a real insight into the difficulties gay men (and women) faced in the UK in past decades. It's important to understand that although some of Bill's experiences regarding him discovering his sexuality may sound quite shocking and inappropriate, these events happened in a very different cultural climate when attitudes towards homosexuality did not allow for young people to openly discuss and explore their feelings. As always, we would love to hear your thoughts about the story and invite you to add your comment underneath. |
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With hindsight I was always Gay. At the age of about 8 I used to chat up a workman who was working on a new house near where we lived in Worthing. It gave me a thrill just to look at his body which I now recognise was a sexual thrill, though at the time, I didn't know that it was. At about twelve I started masturbating. My best friend and I used to do it when we were together. I often slept over at his house. We didn't touch each, just played with ourselves. I remember saying to him that I was puzzled as I thought it was about having babies but I thought about men when I did it. He said he thought about women with big breasts.
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I was attracted to many men but my first physical contact did not happen until I was about 15. I was evacuated to Petersfield and I used to ride to school on my bike. I took a short cut up a private road which involved passing through a gate. A man lived in the house there which had been the lodge keepers when it was the park of a grand house. He used to open the gate for me. One day he stood in front of me and straddled my front wheel and I pushed it further in between his legs. I was terrifically thrilled and he asked me in "to tea". As soon as we were in his house I was introduced to his friend and immediately, the three of us embraced. I came immediately! They wanted me to stay for tea but I fled. When I got home I washed my face before meeting my mother. I thought this would disguise what I had done. I knew it was wrong. How? I don't know because I had never heard the subject of homosexuality mentioned. After this encounter I made sure I went a different way to school. After I moved to London a years or two later, I met him on a bus and jumped off and ran! I fell in love with a master at school and used to play with myself during his classes, sitting near the back behind the school desk. I nearly told him once, but didn’t have the courage. |
"After I moved to London in 1943 I had a lot of sexual encounters - usually just groping - on trains and buses. They were all very crowded so you were often crushed up against people."
I particularly loved touching up American soldiers with their tight trousers made of very soft cloth. Very occasionally I went home with men but was always paranoid that someone would find out. More often I just used to go into dark corners - there were a lot because of the blackout - or into disused street air raid shelters.
Soon I joined the Communist Party. It was very much influenced by the health and beauty - let it all hang - back to nature - nudity - movement of the inter-war years, especially in places like London. People slept around a lot and many couples lived together without marrying. This meant I felt free to talk to my close friends about fancying men. I soon had a brief sort of affair with a Comrade in a nearby branch. We didn't have sex - just cuddled and touched. He was friends with a Psychiatrist who gave me cut price sessions because she was also in the Party. She asked me if I would want it if she could turn me straight tomorrow. I went home and thought about it and realised I would not!
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I had previously attended the Tavistock Clinic. This gave free therapy and was before we had the National Health Service. We had group sessions where we all sat round in a circle and the doctor told us to say the first thing that came into our heads. "There was a stony silence, so I told them why I had come. If I had farted, thrown up and vomited blood I don't think I could have had more impact!" Obviously, no-one had anything as terrible as that to be "cured". We were told to try to discuss our problems with friends. As I had already bored most of my friends stiff with it, I decided this group was not for me. |
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It was a Party Psychiatrist’s question that set me on the path to accepting and enjoying my sexuality. Oddly enough I was introduced to the gay scene in London by a Comrade I met when working in Edinburgh. I was put up in his mother’s house and she said, "Ye'll not mind sharing the room with m' son?" I don't know if she knew we would be sharing the bed. He was very ‘Out’ for that time and he showed me the gay bars and the Mound which was the cruising area in Edinburgh. He also introduced me to gay people in London. Among them I met my first long-term partner.
I joined a group of gay men and we would meet several times a week and go to the gay-friendly pubs; the Dorset Arms in Clapham Road, the one near Waterloo Station frequented by the sailors from the Union Jack Club and several in the Old Kent Road where there was often local talent - frequently drag - shows. Harry was very much taken with the navy trousers with the flap.
I joined a group of gay men and we would meet several times a week and go to the gay-friendly pubs; the Dorset Arms in Clapham Road, the one near Waterloo Station frequented by the sailors from the Union Jack Club and several in the Old Kent Road where there was often local talent - frequently drag - shows. Harry was very much taken with the navy trousers with the flap.
"Every Saturday night we would gather at his flat and eat, drink
and dance to Judy Garland records till the small hours."
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In 1972 the first meeting of GLF took place at the Minet Library in Lambeth. I had heard about it on a front page news item, in a new, short lived free paper. I couldn't make myself go in but luckily, someone came out and dragged me in. We all sat around in a circle and talked about being gay - it was a new word! Someone suggested that we all think about the advantages of being gay. I thought, "Really these people go too far. How can there be advantages?" I still thought of it as, at best, second best. I soon realised that there were advantages to being gay. I got hugely involved with all the group did - street theatre, poster parades, meetings, discs etc. We opened the Brixton Gay Community Centre which was a drop-in coffee bar, open all day and every day. Several of us joined Icebreakers - a Gay version of Samaritans. I was also member of CHE. "We ran very successful, packed out dances at the Town Halls of several London boroughs way before the modern gay, commercial scene took off. We also formed the theatre troupe known as The Brixton Faeries." |
I love being gay. I have a huge circle of friends who are gay and straight but the closest ones are nearly all gay. I still wear a gay badge (usually the pink triangle) all the time. It often provokes very interesting discussion!
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